


The Right Thing Can Be The Hardest Thing

by hoffkk



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Black Canary - Freeform, Emotional, Established Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, Felicity has a secret, Multi, Oliver has a son, olicity - Freeform, speedy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-01 07:31:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4011166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoffkk/pseuds/hoffkk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver finds out that he has a son and doesn't know what to do.  Felicity helps him deal, which brings up some demons from her own past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea in my head, and I just had to make a story out of it. It is set after season 3 as a possible intro to season 4.  
> NOTE: MILD VIOLENCE AND AN ATTEMPTED RAPE OCCURS.

It had been six months, since Oliver and Felicity had become an official couple and left town to further explore the world, themselves, and each other. They had spent a glorious three months away together in their own little paradise. Technically, they went to several different places, but as long as he was with Felicity, Oliver considered it paradise. For the last three months, the pair had been back in Starling. It was a little weird at first, being a couple amongst their friends, but that was only because part of their friend group consisted of Oliver's sister and ex-girlfriend and Felicity's ex-boyfriend. The weirdness didn't last too long, though. Felicity had spoken with each of them privately, and in their own ways they had let her know that they were happy for her and Oliver. Felicity was never too worried about Ray; she was more concerned about Thea and Laurel's reactions, considering they could both easily kick her ass if they wanted to. In fact, Thea actually threatened as much (in her own playful way of course). After the first week or so, Oliver and Felicity fell into their own rhythm. During the day, Felicity would be at work. She had gone back to work at Palmer Technologies due to boredom and a lack of funds in the Smoak bank account. Felicity had never admitted the boredom part out loud, but Oliver could tell that she missed working with her tech. So, when Ray offered her job back, Oliver encouraged her to accept. While she worked, Oliver worked out. He also trained and sparred with Laurel and Thea. If he couldn't stop them from being vigilantes, then he could at least help them hone their skills and learn to be more...well, vigilant. Oliver also spent a lot of his time thinking about this next move. Obviously, he couldn't be the arrow anymore, but he did miss his field work, it gave him a purpose. For a long time, being a vigilante seemed like the only thing he was good at, but Felicity was making him see himself in a whole new light. She made him feel like he could be anything or anyone that he wanted, and he loved her all the more for it. Even though he couldn't patrol the streets and fight bad guys anymore, Oliver still made himself useful from the Arrow Cave, alongside Felicity who was still doing her tech-y things for the team. They spent most weeknights like that, following it up with dinner, then having dessert at Felicity's place, after which he usually spent the night. They hung out at her place whenever they wanted alone time, since he lived with Thea. They had fooled around at his place once, but Thea came home earlier than expected, and well...that was the end of that. Felicity had joked that since he spent so much time in her apartment, he might as well move in. However, as appealing as the offer was, Oliver resisted. He didn't want to rush things. He wanted to savor her and this shred of normalcy in his life. All in all, things were pretty good in the life of Oliver Queen right now. He was happy, but as per usual, or what had become the usual since life on the island, his happiness didn't last long.


	2. I Thought Fighting Was The Hard Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has to sit behind the scenes with Felicity, while Thea and Laurel go out on patrol. He learns that it has its advantages and its drawbacks.

It was a slow night for crime.  Thea and Laurel took the liberty of patrolling the streets, while Oliver and Felicity hung out in the new Arrow Cave.  After the police had raided the foundry months ago, they had used Palmer Technologies as a temporary base of operations.  Eventually, though, they were able to move all the necessities over into the secondary location that Oliver had set aside as a backup lair when he first started his crusade.

Felicity checked in periodically with her vigilante friends via the coms and worked on her computers, while Oliver made use of the salmon ladder.  Diggle wasn't around much these days, unless it was absolutely necessary.  He wanted to spend more time with his family, plus he still hadn't forgiven Oliver for his actions as heir to the demon, not completely.  Slowly, but surely, though, Digg was coming around.

"It's almost 10:30." Oliver stated, finishing his third set of reps.  "You should go home.  Nothing is happening tonight."  He grabbed his water bottle from the nearest table and took swig.

"You don't know that." She replied, pushing her glasses up on her nose as she spun in her chair to face him.  Felicity was still in her work clothes, a blue quarter sleeve sheath dress, paired with her favorite black pumps and a black beaded necklace, which hung low overtop the high collar.  Her hair was pulled up into her patented ponytail, revealing matching black earrings.  Felicity didn't get a chance to change since she went straight from work to dinner with Oliver then straight to the Arrow Cave for surveillance.

"No... but _I do_ know that you have an early meeting tomorrow and that you need you rest." Oliver assured, placing his water bottle back down as he walked towards her.  He was shirtless, clad in fitted cargo pants.  A thin layer of sweat covered his torso.

"You know, I used to think it was endearing how you always knew my schedule, but now it's bordering on creepy."

"Are you calling me a creep?" Oliver quirked a brow as he crossed his arms over his chest, stopping a few feet in front of her chair.

"Of course not," Felicity said as she played with the end of her necklace, mock innocence in her voice. "I'm just saying that you could use a hobby, something to keep you busy, well, _busier_."

"I train the girls, and I work out." Oliver pointed out, bringing his hands to his hips and flexing his chest and stomach muscles.

"That you do." Felicity agreed, licking her lips not-so-subtly as she eyed the taut muscles on the upper half of his body, pulling from memory images of his bottom half.  She was ready to jump him right then and there, but her computer had other ideas as it beeped loudly, indicating danger was afoot.  She spun around quickly, turning her com back on as Oliver came to stand behind her to see what exactly was going on. 

"A 911 call was placed from the corner of Kent and Heim Street." Felicity spoke through her com as she pulled up surveillance footage from a nearby traffic camera.

"On it.  I'm a block away." Laurel's voice flowed through the coms.

"I'm a little further away, but I'm moving as fast as I can."  Thea affirmed.

"What are we looking at?"  Laurel asked, wanting to be prepared.

"Two males.  Mid to late twenties. They are, um, roughing up a young woman."  Felicity answered, putting it mildly.  "You better hurry, things are escalating quickly."

Felicity stared at the woman on the screen.  She was terrified for her.  _No woman should ever suffer at the hands of men._   Sara's voice rang in her head.  Felicity felt Oliver's hands grip her shoulders.  Craning her neck to look at him, she noticed he was tense and his jaw was clenched tight.  "You okay?"  She spoke quietly, hoping the words wouldn't travel through her com.

"No."  Oliver didn't elaborate.

Felicity wanted to probe further, but this clearly wasn't the time.  She faced the screen again, hoping Laurel was there.  She wasn't, and the men were now dragging the woman into an alleyway.  Suddenly, Felicity's fear went up a notch as she got a better look at the woman's face.  Something about her was so familiar.  Then it clicked.  "Wait...isn't that the girl from the coffee shop in Central City?  The one you said you used to know?"

Oliver met her eyes and nodded.  "Her name is Sandra, Sandra Hawke.  She...she is an old friend."

"Oh," There was so much more Felicity wanted to say, to ask, but she wasn't sure she really wanted to know.  Before she could speak again, Laurel's voice broke through her thoughts.  "I'm at the intersection."

Focusing back on the monitor, Felicity spoke rapidly, "There's a pawnshop three buildings down on Heim Street.  Head to the alley behind it.  FAST."

"Roger that."  Laurel responded, before turning off her com.

The coms were off and the action was out of view of the camera.  They had no clue what was happening anymore.  Felicity felt helpless as she sat there and waited.  She turned in her chair to face Oliver, who had thrown his white t-shirt back on and was now pacing across the lair.

"I thought fighting was the hard part, but sitting here powerless..."  Oliver trailed off.  Instead of finishing his thought, he started another one.  "Now, I get why you volunteer to go in the field so much." He said, offering a sad smile as he stopped to look at her, then down at his shoes.

Felicity stood and crossed the open space between them.  "Look at me." She said, as she grabbed his head between her hands and tilted it upward.  " Everything is going to be okay."

He pulled her closer into his embrace.  He hoped she was right.  Sandra had already suffered enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hardest part of writing any story is getting started. I hope this got it off to a good start. Comments are welcome!


	3. Introducing Sandra Hawke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out more about Sandra Hawke and why she is in Starling. Sandra finds some trouble in the Glades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: ALMOST RAPE CHAPTER - not too descriptive, but descriptive enough.  
> NOTE: MILD VIOLENCE - vigilante fight scene, thugs being thugs

When Sandra Hawke found out that she had to go to Starling City for a business trip, she was less than thrilled.  Starling brought back a lot of not-so-fond memories.  However,  she wouldn't have changed anything that happened there because it led her to a good life in Central City with a son she absolutely adored.

After making the appropriate arrangements, she woke up early Monday morning and took the first train to Starling.  She had spent all day in the business district, sitting through different seminars on new marketing techniques, and they were all boring as hell.  The only thing that kept her sane was staring at the wallpaper of her phone: a photo of her and her son, smiling on the beach.  It was from last summer's trip to Myrtle Beach.  A colleague had let her stay at their family's beach house for a week.  It was just the two of them and they had a blast.

The last seminar ended around 6:00pm.  On the way out, two of her workmates that came on the trip with her, Luca Sutherland and Elaine Alcott, invited her out to dinner at Table Salt.  Sandra declined at first, since there was no way she could afford a meal at a place like that, but Luca insisted it would be charged to the company account, so she gladly changed her mind.

Following dinner, Elaine talked them into going out for a round of drinks at a new place downtown, which turned into four and lots of dancing.  It was a lot of fun; Sandra couldn't remember the last time she had a night like this.  Out of breath from dancing, she took a seat at the bar and checked her phone.  It was almost 10:30.  She knew if she didn't leave now, she would be regretting it tomorrow.  Luca and Elaine weren't ready to leave, yet.  They were too busy hitting on the same guy, trying to figure out which team he played for.  Sandra shook her head and told them she was going to call a cab.

After saying their goodbyes, Sandra left the club.  The cold air felt good against her hot skin.  She was glad she opted to wear a dress today, so her legs could breathe.  It was a simple black ensemble with skinny straps and a flared skirt that stopped above the knee.  Cute for a night out, but when paired with her black and beige patterned cardigan, it made for a classy work outfit.

With her sweater draped over her arm, she checked her phone.  There was 5% battery left.  She hadn't had a chance to charge it all day, so of course it was about to die.  Sandra looked around a moment.  There were two guys smoking against the side of the club building.  They spoke quietly to each other as they each gave her a once over.  Sandra rolled her eyes and came up with a plan.  She decided to walk down the street to the main road to try and hail a cab there.  There was no point in wasting what little battery life she had on calling a cab if she didn't need to.

About half way to the corner, she realized her mistake.  The two guys eyeing her from before had followed.  One had tan skin and dark hair that was just long enough to cover his ears, which was covered with a black beanie and wore jeans with a black cut-off shirt that showed off his slightly muscled arms which were covered in tattoos.  The other was white with dark blond hair that was pulled into a low man-bun with loose strands left hanging in front of his face, the color of which matched the thin layer of stubble on his face.  The man reminded her of a younger, more evil version of Thor from the _Avengers_ : _Age of Ultron_ movie, but not nearly as buff.  He wore a white tee-shirt with a black leather jacket and jeans with a black belt that had a metal chain hanging from it in a loop.  They looked like thugs, except for the converse shoes they both wore.  Sandra started walking faster, and so did they.

"Slow down, sweetheart." cooed beanie-boy.

"What's the rush?" asked the Thor wannabe, knowingly.

She ignored them and kept walking as she looked at her cell.  There was now 2% battery left.  _Just enough_. She thought as she dialed 911.  Sandra let it ring, but she didn't want to be obvious about it, so when the operator picked up, she held the phone down at her side and covered it with the sweater she was holding.  She didn't have to talk, the silence would talk for her, at least with the operator.

"Why don't you join us for a little party of our own." Beanie-boy flirted with a wiggle of his  uni-brow.

Sandra didn't realize how close behind they were until beanie-boy followed up his line by grabbing her ass.  She jumped in surprise, then turned to face them.  Sandra had made it to Heim Street and rounded the corner, so now she just needed to stall until help arrived.  Too bad there was no one in sight.  I guess people living in this part of town knew better than to be out right now.

"Back off!" She warned with a scowl.

"Tough girl, huh?"  said Thor.  "I like that."  He added with a lick of his lips.

Suddenly beanie-boy came at her from the side, causing her to angle herself to keep them both in front view.  "Me too, the tough like it rough."  He agreed, proud of his little rhyme.

They said a few more stupid lines as they crept closer.  With every step they took, she took a step back.  Suddenly she felt something cold and hard behind her.  A wall.  _Crap!_ She began to panic as she realized they were still moving and she had nowhere to go.

Thor entered her personal bubble, using his hand to move some of her long, dark brown hair behind her ears.  "Damn, your sexy."

She flinched at the touch of his calloused fingertips.

"You need to relax, babe." He chuckled.  "And I know just how to help you do that." He continued as his one hand trailed down her body, while the other started to undo his belt.

Sandra swallowed hard, then step forward angrily. "Don't _touch_ me." She spat.

Thor slammed her back against the wall, causing her to drop her sweater and cell phone, while beanie-boy watched and snickered.  It was clear that Thor was the alpha male in this duo.  "Nobody tells me what to do." he said firmly with a fire in his blue-gray eyes.  "Now, why don't we go somewhere a little more private."  Thor added before taking her harm and throwing her at beanie-boy who forced  down the street a little further an into an alley.

She tried to fight back, but her head ached from being slammed against the wall and she was beginning to feel a little dizzy.  Plus, beanie-boy was stronger than he looked.  They stopped walking once they reached the back wall.  There was a dumpster in the corner and it smelled of week-old Chinese food.  Beanie-boy pushed her into the other corner, then Thor came in and forced her backside into the wall, pinning her arms above her head with one hand.

"I want this one first." Thor said to his lackey, then brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "I'm gonna make you feel things you've only dreamed of."

When he pulled back to look into her dark brown eyes, Sandra spat in his face."

Thor's cocky, lustful expression turned to rage as he spun her around slamming her into the wall once more.  Now her front pressed against the wall and her face was turned to the side.

"I like looking at your ass better, anyway." He said as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Go stand look out."  He snapped at beanie-boy, who immediately headed toward the entrance of the long alleyway.

"I'm gonna take my time with you." he purred into the ear that faced him.  Using one hand to pin her down, Thor's other hand proceeded to slide up her thigh and cup her ass cheek.  He felt the lacey black panties she was wearing and moaned as he slid his fingers toward her center and back, attempting to tease her.  Sandra could feel that he was already hard as he pressed his length into her, while his hand proceeded to travel upward, slipping under the front of her dress and cupping her bra-clad breast.  "I'm gonna make you scream." he assured, and of that she had no doubt.

The bile was rising in her throat as more tears pooled in her eyes, then she heard a unfamiliar female voice.

"Move your hand, before I remove it from your body." Laurel commanded, standing  a few yards behind him.  She was in full Black Canary mode, the bow staff slung behind her back and sharp canary blades (her own version of ninja stars) in each hand.  She was standing in fighting position, waiting for him to make the next move.

Thor looked over his shoulder, not very intimidated. "Don't worry, sweetheart, you can have a turn next." he called.

"How about I take my turn now?"  Laurel asked, quickly exchanging her blades for her bow staff.

With that, Sandra took advantage of the distraction and slammed her heel into the top of his foot.  Thor screeched in pain and stumbled backwards, falling flat on his but, as she dived to the side out of his reach, curling up against the side of the dumpster to taken in the view of her rescuer.  Not exactly the police, but she'd take it.

Once Sandra was out of the way, Laurel sprang into action.  She came at him with her staff, but he moved quick, rolling out of the way in the opposite direction of Sandra and the dumpster.  From there he tried to run past her toward the entrance of the alley, but before he could get far, Laurel utilized her infamous Canary Cry, causing him to grab his ears and fall to his knees.  She then ran over and wacked him in the back with her staff  and watched as he fell forward onto his hands.  While Thor was catching his breath, Laurel yanked him up by the collar of his leather jacket and slammed him into the side wall, jamming the staff against his neck as she held it horizontally.  Unfortunately, he was strong and able to push back.  As they struggle dwith the staff, Thor took the opportunity to kicker her legs out from under her.  Laurel fell, then mimicked his move from the ground, making him fall the same way, and the staff fly towards the back wall.  They scrambled for it, bumping and knocking it further back away from other's hand.  Thor let her get a head before grabbing her by her blonde wig and yanking her backwards.  Laurel fell on her back, while he dived for it.  She got to her feet and faced him, he was standing with his backside inches from the back wall, staff securely in his hands.  They sized each other up for a moment, then smiled and took the staff, breaking the wooden instrument over his knee and tossing it toward the dumpster.  Crossing his arms, he grinned wickedly.

"Ready to give up, yet?"  He wondered aloud.

"Not quite." Laurel stated, standing firmly with her hands balled into fists.

"Face it, sweetheart, you can't beat me.  You're all out of weapons."  He said, revealing the canary blades he had pocketed during the struggle and tossing them aside too.  _Idiot._   Laurel shook her head.

"Actually, I have a whole other _arsenal_."  She smiled.  Before Thor could even process her words, Laurel yelled, "NOW, SPEEDY!"

Suddenly, Thea emerged at the entrance of the alley and fired a special set of arrows.  They flew right over top of Laurels head, and before Thor knew what had happened, arrows hit the wall on each side of him, connected by a thin yet firm rope, which trapped him against the wall.  Thea fired three more in rapid succession.   Two more securing his torso effectively, and a third across his shins to secure his legs.

Thor was shocked and unable to move.  "Not so tough when you're the one pinned against the wall, are you?" Laurel mocked as sirens blared in the distance.

"You think you're so smart.  Well, I have a friend too!  Kenny!  Kenny!" He yelled, as he squirmed beneath the ropes.

"If you are referring to the blockhead in the beanie, he already fell for me... _hard_."  Laurel commented, remembering how she knocked him out easily upon her arrival.

"And now he's a little tied up."  Thea quipped, insinuating another double meaning.

Thor spat at them in response.

Thea rolled her eyes and Laurel shook her head as she turned to face her partner.

"I'll keep any eye on him, while you get her out of here."  Thea nodded to Sandra, who was still crouched by the dumpster, shivering and trying to process what had just happened.  "And take this, she picked up the sweater and tossed it at Laurel, who then went over to comfort Sandra.  Laurel wrapped the sweater and her arm around Sandra's shoulders and walked her to back towards the street.

After a few minutes, Thea noticed the remnants of Laurel's gear strewn about.  She walked over and pocketed the two canary blades, but left the bow staff.  It was useless now.  Walking back over to Thor, she noticed a black box  on the ground near his feet.  Getting closer, she realized that it was a cell phone.  Thea picked it up and tried to turn it on, but it was dead.

"This yours, jackass?"  She asked Thor.

"Go to hell." He retorted, unwilling to cooperate.

"I would, but I have places to be and people to see."  She told him before  slipping the phone into one of her many pockets.  She really _was_ an arsenal with this uniform on.

The sirens suddenly got much louder.  The police had to be right down the street.

"And that's my cue."  Thea said with a wink, before shooting her grappling hook gun at the ledge of the building to her left and pulling herself up to the safety of the roof.  She then jumped from rooftop to rooftop, making her way back to the lair.


	4. A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver puts the pieces together and finds out about his son, thus revealing a long kept secret to Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally decided to update! Hope to update again this week, but we shall see what happens (though I have no life, so it mostly likely will be updated again by the end of this week.lol.) I hope you enjoy this chapter. It has a little humor, but also some intense emotion....the best of both worlds. Let me know what you think! :)

Oliver and Felicity waited in silence for an update.  Oliver continued to pace, while Felicity watched the monitor in front her intently, looking for any more signs of trouble.  Fortunately, the only thing she saw was Thea's arrival.  She had relayed that information to Oliver at the time, but it had only made him ball his fists tighter at his sides and pace faster.  He never reacted well to sitting on the sidelines, while Thea was in the field, but tonight was worse than usual, and Felicity knew that Sandra's presence had something to do with it.

Felicity drummed her fingers on the desk in front of her as she began to get lost in thought.  She just couldn't help but wonder about Sandra and her connection Oliver.  Felicity had a pretty good idea that the connection had something to do with sex, most of Oliver's past connections to women did, but the sadness Oliver had gotten in his eyes when he mentioned her name told Felicity that their connection ran deeper.  _Maybe they actually dated?  No, the only other girlfriend he had had was Laurel.  Maybe they were friends?  Oliver never mentioned having any female friends though.  The only friend he ever mentioned was Tommy... could she have dated Tommy?_

The possibilities were endless and driving Felicity crazy.  She just wanted to know who this woman was to Oliver.  Asking him directly seemed like the best bet, but she wasn't sure how he would react.  Plus, Felicity didn't want to sound like an insecure girlfriend.  As she was weighing these thoughts in her head, a voice crackled through her com.

"The situation's been handled.  The target is secure."  Laurel confirmed.

While Laurel was speaking, Felicity focused back on the computer screen and watched as Laurel emerged from the alley with her arm around a shaking Sandra.  She continued to watch them as they paused, said a few words, and walked down the side walk out of sight.

Felicity ripped the com out of her ear, tossing it on the desk, before turning in her chair to face Oliver.

"It's all good.  Laurel and Thea got there in time."  She all but whispered.

Oliver stopped pacing, let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding in, and walked over to Felicity.

"Thank God." He spoke quietly.

"Hey,"  Felicity said sweetly, before getting up to meet him half way.  She grabbed him by the bicep, caressing it with her thumb.  "You okay?  You wanna talk about it?"

He raised the opposite arm, using his hand to cradle the side of her face.  Stroking her cheek with his thumb, he stared into her eyes and smiled.  He didn't deserve this woman, and he told himself so every day.

Seeing how concerned she was for him and how much she cared, he wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so.  He hated revealing things from his past, especially things from his punk-ass-frat boy Ollie days.  Oliver was a different man then, a man who didn't make the best decisions and didn't care about the consequences.  He was ashamed of that, and thus ashamed of his relationship with Sandra.  If he were to tell Felicity the truth, he might lose her... and he wasn't willing to risk that, not by a long shot.  Besides, his relationship with Sandra was over, it was what it was, and whatever they almost had together didn't matter anymore.  So, why create unnecessary drama?

"No, I'm fine."

Felicity nodded, then paused before speaking again.  "Look, I know it's not easy when someone you know, someone you care about, is in danger.  I also know that not being able to do anything about it makes it a lot harder...but you did the right thing.  You let Laurel and Thea handle it, and it all worked out, and I am really proud of  you."

Pulling her closer with his free hand, he quirked a brow and asked mischievously, "How proud, exactly?"

She smirked, then, bracing herself with her hands on his chest, went up on tiptoes to whisper in his hear, " _Very_."  After doing so, she tugged on his earlobe lightly with her teeth, then began a trail of hot kisses down his neck.

Oliver moaned as he closed his eyes.  His hands were on her waist now, and they were slowly moving to cup her ass.  Once they did, she gave a little squeal, and he took advantage of her break in motion, pulling her face back to his, giving her a hard, deep kiss.  They kept kissing for the next few minutes, until the loud bang of the door opening made them jump apart.

"Hey guys, I-" Thea started, then stopped as she took in the people in front of her.  They were breathing heavy, and Felicity's cheeks were pink.  She noticed Felicity smoothing her dress and patting her hair down, while Oliver just had a annoyed look on his face.  "Am I interrupting something?"  She teased.

Felicity answered quickly before Oliver could.  He didn't get embarrassed in these types of situations like she did, so she was afraid of what he might say.  "Of course not, we-we were just talking."

"Riiiiight."  Thea nodded, clearly not fooled.  "Well, next time you two feel like _talking_ , you might wanna consider hanging a sock on the door."

Oliver pressed his lips into a hard line, while Felicity's eyes widened, face turning a deeper shade of pink.  Thea just chuckled, and before someone could say anything more, Laurel walked in.

"Another night, another bad guy burned."  She smiled, feeling good about her victory.  She noticed the varying expressions of amusement, annoyance, and embarrassment in her friends faces and quirked a brow.  "What's going on?"

"Nothing."  Oliver said forcefully, giving Thea his subtler version of the evil eye.

Thea turned, walking toward the wall of weaponry to put her quiver back, but not before calling over her shoulder, "Just _talking_."

"Oh-kaay."  Laurel said, slightly confused.

Felicity quickly changed topic. "So, how is she?"  She asked Laurel, referring to Sandra.  Felicity thought it would be better to not use her name.  That would imply that one of them knew her, and she didn't think Oliver wanted to open that can of worms in front of his ex-girlfriend and sister.

"She's rattled.  They roughed her up pretty good, but she'll be okay.

"Good.  I mean, not that she was rattled...or roughed up...obviously that's _not_ good...I just meant that-"

"We know."  Oliver cut her off, squeezing her shoulder.

"Thea rejoined the group, throwing in her two cents.  "Those bastards deserve to rot  in jail."

"And they will, if I have anything to say about it."  Laurel assured.  "I'll update you guys tomorrow after we get her official statement."

"She hasn't talked to the police, yet?"  Oliver asked.

"No, she wasn't feeling up to it tonight, so I just walked her back to the Kreisberg Hotel.  She's staying there while she's in town for business.  My dad will be over in the morning to get things underway."

He crossed his arms and nodded.

"What about the thugs?"  Felicity questioned.

"They're on their way to SCPD to be processed.  They're both wanted for a number of petty crimes."

"That won't hold them long.  A half-descent lawyer could spring them in a few hours."

"Yeah...but it _is_ late, and the officers _are_ pretty tired.  I wouldn't be surprised if one of them accidently misplaces the paperwork, delaying any chance of possible freedom until early morning."  Laurel feigned innocence, as she removed her wig, placing it and her mask on the head of her designated mannequin.  "And by that time, we'll have that woman's statement..."

"I'm impressed."  Stated Thea, clapping a couple times for emphasis.

Laurel made her way back to the group, a smug look on her face.

"How did you have the time to steal paperwork?"  Felicity queried, checking the clock on the wall.

"I didn't, but a friend of mine did...and he owed me a favor."  Laurel explained.

"All right then, we wait til morning to make our next move." Oliver stated.  "Until then we call it a night.  Good work, ladies."  He smiled at the three of them.

The women looked at each other a moment before responding in unison, "Thanks, _Charlie_!"  They all sang the words, before bursting into a fit a giggles, making a clear reference to _Charlie's Angels_.  They had been talking the other day over coffee about how Oliver has been acting like the supreme leader of their group ever since he has been placed on restricted duty.  He often called them "ladies" and talked to them like employees.  _"It's like Ollie's Angels or something_."  Thea had commented, causing a round of laughter from each of them.  After that, they had all agreed that the next time Oliver called them "ladies" they would call him Charlie.

It took him a sec to get the reference, causing more giggles from the women, but once he did he responded by rolling  his eyes and shaking his head as he tried to suppress the smile forming on his lips.

"Go get changed."  He commanded.

"Yes, _Charlie_."  Thea and Laurel spoke together before heading towards the changing room in the back.

"Oh, wait!"  Thea said, spinning on her heal.  "I almost forgot... I think one of the thugs dropped this in the alley."  She retrieved the black iphone from her pocket and handed it to Oliver.

"Thanks."  He said, staring at the phone as Thea walked away to go change.  It was an old model, plain black, no case, and it had two large cracks across the screen, most likely from tonight's altercation.  He pressed the home button.  Nothing.

"I think it's dead."  He told Felicity.

"Here, allow me."  She offered, taking the phone from his hand.  Noticing it had a magnetic charging cover, Felicity walked back to her desk and started rummaging through her purse.  She pulled out her small, black magnetic charging stand and placed it on the desktop, setting the mystery cell phone inside.  She knew her recent purchase would come in handy, but this exceeded her expectations.

Doing a little, girly hand clap, Felicity turned around and walked back to Oliver, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Now we just have to kill time for a few minutes..."  She said flirtatiously, leaning in to kiss him.

He turned his head to the side, making her lips land in his stubble on the side of his jaw.

Felicity looked at him quizzically, waiting for him to explain himself.

"I don't think _Charlie_ is supposed to have inappropriate relations with his angels."  He teased, getting back at her for the girls' earlier remarks.

"It's okay,"  she grinned, "I'm the _head_ angel."

"Oh, well, in that case..."  Oliver replied before pulling her flush against him and assaulting her with his tongue.

They had been making out for a few minutes, when a voice broke the moment and their lips apart.

"Seriously?!  What did I just say about the sock?"  Thea quipped, crossing her arms to fake anger.   Laurel just shook her head and smiled, getting the gist of Thea's comment.

"That I need to shove one in your mouth?"  Oliver asked dryly, letting go of Felicity to cross his arms right back at her.

Felicity whacked him in the side of the arm as she stifled a laugh.  "Oliver!"

"Ass-hat."  Thea muttered under her breath, before sticking her tongue out at her brother.

"All right, all right, that's enough you two."  Laurel said, playing peacemaker.  "C'mon, Thea, let's give the lovebirds some alone time."  She added as she grabbed Thea from behind and proceeded to steer her towards the exit by her shoulders.

Once they had gone,  Oliver turned back to Felicity, pulling her back into his personal bubble by the waist.  "Where were we?"  He questioned the beautiful blonde in his arms.

"Right about here... "  She said, slowly dragging her hands up his torso until her arms were once again around his neck.  Felicity leaned in to kiss him.  Her lips hovered only millimeters above his when a familiar sound struck her hears.  The start-up tone of a cell phone.

She pulled back as a reflex, looked into Oliver's eyes and cracked up.  After receiving a third interruption, she couldn't help but laugh.  Oliver looked annoyed, but let out a slight chuckle as well as he rested his forehead on hers.

"I suppose you wanna check the phone now..."  He said knowingly.

"Yep!"  She said sweetly, then pecked his lips quickly before running back over to her desk.

Oliver followed her over and she handed him the phone as she spoke.

"Aw, cute kid."  She smiled, noting how the boy had sparkling blue eyes like Oliver's.

Oliver's brow furrowed as he took in the image on the phone.  Sandra's homes-screen wallpaper was a picture of her with a little boy on the beach.  The boy was smiling at the camera as Sandra was smiling at him.  Oliver couldn't stop staring at the boy.   He had light blue eyes and sun-kissed brown hair.  Just.  Like. Oliver.

_There's no way...he can't be...she said she lost the baby...and yet..._

Oliver's mind was racing as a pit formed in the bottom of his stomach.  There was only one way to be sure of what his instincts were telling him.

"Felicity, I need you to find the birth certificate for this kid.  Can you do that?"

"Of course," Felicity assured, feeling confused and worried about Oliver's reaction, "I just have to hack into Sandra's medical records and....voila!"  She said as the certificate popped up on the screen.

Oliver's eyes went directly to the line for the father's name.  It was left blank.  Oliver raked a hand through his hair in frustration.  Next, he looked at the child's birth date.  It indicated that the boy had just turned 8 years old a few months ago.  Oliver's jaw clenched.  _The timing is right, but she said that she had lost it.  Maybe...maybe he was someone elses'..._ Oliver struggled to convince himself.

"Hey, check out his name."  Felicity said, pointing to the designated line.

Oliver read it and wanted to throw up.  The boy's name was Connor...Connor _Oliver_ Hawke.

Oliver could make more excuses, that the name Oliver is pretty popular, that it doesn't mean anything, but he knew he would just be lying to himself.  The evidence was stacked high and pointed to one conclusion:  Sandra never lost the baby, Connor was his son.

"What a coincidence."  Felicity added.

Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath before responding.  "No, it's not."

He still didn't want to tell Felicity the truth, but now he needed to.  If there was a chance that Oliver may have a child, she deserved to know.

"What?"  She questioned.

"It's not a coincidence."  Oliver took another deep breath, collecting his thoughts.

"What do you mean?"  She queried, taking a seat in her leather chair

"Remember how I told you Sandra was an old friend?"

Felicity nodded.

"We'll, we met in college, I don't remember the name , but it was the last college that I attended and dropped out of..."  He shook his head, trying to focus on the important stuff.  "We met at this frat party.  We drank and we danced... and we drank some more...then-"

"You slept together."  Felicity finished for him, not surprised by the omission.

"Yes."  He said, feeling guilty.

"Wait, weren't you dating Laurel around then?"  She asked, processing the information he was giving her.

"We were on one of our off periods."  Oliver explained.

"Oh."  She nodded.

"Anyway..."  he continued, "I didn't see her after that until a few weeks later...when she found me and told me she was pregnant...with my child."  Though it seemed pretty obvious, he figured he'd throw that last bit in for clarification.

Not knowing how to respond, Felicity remained silent.  Oliver took that as his cue to go on.

"I was completely shocked, I never expected this to happen, I mean, I knew nothing about raising a kid..."  Oliver was pacing again as he continued on his tangent.  "I went to my mother later that day, I told her everything...she just hugged me and said everything would be okay."

"So, was it?"  Felicity shook her head.  _Dumb question.  If everything worked out okay, then he probably wouldn't have a random 8 year old son that he knew nothing about._ "I mean, what happened?"

Oliver stopped his pacing and just stared at her a moment.  "Honestly?  I don't know.  I mean, we had met again a few days later, and she told  me that she miscarried...that she lost the baby, and there was nothing for me to worry about anymore...but obviously that wasn't true."

Felicity could believe what he was saying, what she was hearing... how could Sandra do that to him?  If she could put money on it, she'd bet that Moira was somehow involved.  Felicity kept that thought to herself though, not wanting to speak ill of the dead, especially in front of Oliver.  She couldn't prove it anyhow.

She had been staring at Oliver, but not really looking at him as she listened to his story.  Felicity finally made herself look into his eyes.  There was so much hurt and confusion in them, they even began glistening as he went on.

"When she told me that...that she lost it... _lost him_...I mostly felt relief, as horrible as that sounds, but also...a small part of me was sad...because I'd never get to see or know this little person that I helped create.  It took me a minute to process, but eventually I realized that when that baby died, a part of _me_ died."  A tear trickled down the side of his face, and Felicity lost it.

"Oh, Oliver..." She threw her arms around him, holding him tight.  "I'm so sorry."

Oliver hugged her back, but the action was delayed due to surprise.  This woman was incredible.  Felicity wasn't angry with him at all.  Instead, she felt sorry for him and wanted to be there for him.  When would he learn to stop doubting her?

"Come here."  She whispered, pulling him over and sitting him in her leather chair, sliding herself onto his lap.  Sitting sideways, she used her right hand and rubbed his chest soothingly overtop his heart.

"That kid...Connor...he looks just like me.  His age lines up too, and his middle name... it just makes sense."

"It does..."  she nodded,  "but for sanity's sake, let's not jump to conclusions, you should talk to her.  Get the full story."

"You're right."  He agreed, stroking a hand up and down Felicity's thigh subconsciously.  He needed to know the truth before he did anything else.  "Laurel said she is staying at the Kreisberg.  Anyway to figure out what room?"

"You should really just start assuming that I can do anything because _I can_ , and it would make your requests a lot shorter."  She quipped before pecking him on the cheek and going over to her computer.  The chair got pushed away a few feet, so she got up and walked over.  While she typed, Oliver scooted up behind her, still in the chair, and brought her back to a sitting position on his lap.  Felicity just smiled at the monitor.

"Room 312."  She stated, simply.

"Thank you."  He kissed her cheek and stood up, making sure to hold her tightly so she didn't fall.  He then crossed the room and threw on his gray zip-up.

"Wait...you're going now?"  Felicity questioned, reading his thoughts.

"Yes...I have to know the truth, I-"

"Am very emotional right now." She finished for him, standing to block his way, hands on hips.  " _You_ just found out that _you_ possibly, probably have an eight year old son, and _you_ need time to properly process that."  Felicity poked him in the chest, emphasizing each of the "you"s.

"Maybe..."  He conceded with a shrug, hands in his jacket pockets.

"Definitely,"  she confirmed, "and let's not forget that _she_ was attacked tonight, and is probably an emotional wreck herself." Felicity poked him on the chest once more for good measure.

Oliver's eyes widened, then closed and opened again as the realization hit him.  How could he forget?  The whole reason that this ordeal was brought to light in the first place was because Sandra was assaulted and they found her phone, with that picture on it, at the crime scene.  How could he be so callous?

Felicity saw the shame in his face, and put a hand on his arm in a comforting gesture, caressing his bicep with her thumb.

"It's okay.  You _will_ get the truth, Oliver... _tomorrow,_ after you _both_ have had time to calm down and process everything."

He nodded, knowing she was right, she was always right.  This could- _and should_ \- wait until morning.  "Fine, but first thing tomorrow, I am giving Sandra her phone back along with a piece of my mind."  He assured.  Oliver felt bad for what Sandra had went through tonight, but that didn't excuse her for lying about their child.

"Fair enough."  Felicity stated, sliding her hand down to grab his hand.  "Ready to go home?"

"Home sounds good."  He smiled, squeezing her hand, and she couldn't help but smile back.  Felicity half-expected him to say no, to insist on sleeping in the lair while he cleared his mind.  That was something that he did a lot in the past.  Now, he apparently rather be with her, and she wouldn't argue with that.

Felicity went back to her desk to collect her things, including Sandra's phone.  It made sense to take it home, that way Oliver didn't need to come back for it tomorrow.  Besides, she didn't want to chance anyone else seeing that photo, not that they would think the kid is Oliver's but still.  Better safe, than sorry.

After tossing the last of the items into her bag, Oliver helped her slip into her pink trench coat, and then they walked out the door, her hand in the crook of his arm.  They walked the same way into her apartment a few minutes later, before slipping into their pajamas, a pair of boxers for Oliver and one of Oliver's t-shirts for Felicity, and curling up in her queen -sized bed.

Felicity fell asleep quickly, while Oliver lay awake for a good five minutes more, thinking about everything that happened that night.  With his chin propped up on top of Felicity's head, he inhaled her sweet scent of lavender and vanilla, letting it soothe him along with the feel of her breath against his bare chest.  After a few deep breaths of his own, Oliver began to feel more at peace, and as Felicity's body subconsciously snuggled closer to his, he sighed in content, knowing that whatever happened tomorrow, it would be okay as long as he had  Felicity by his side to help him through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next...  
> *Oliver confronts Sandra  
> *Oliver has a decision to make  
> *You get some hints at Felicity's secret
> 
> There will be two more chapters, and then I think that'll be enough to wrap it up, but you never know!


	5. Decisions, Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver confronts Sandra and finds out the truth, once and for all. Now he just needs to figure out what to do with it. Utterly confused, he turns to his girl Felicity, who gives him some advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, but here it is! Also, in case there was any confusion, I just wanted to clear something up. In the previous chapter, I said that Helena's presence was making things harder for Oliver, but I totally meant to say Sandra's presence, NOT Helena's. Lol. You see, I sort of have this problem where every time I picture Sandra in my head, I end up picturing Helena, which confuses my mind when I am writing. So, I apologize for that error. Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter! Enjoy and feel free to comment!

It was just after nine o'clock in the morning, and Sandra was already on her second cup of chamomile tea.  She had drunk the first during her interview with Captain Lance.  He had been asking her questions and going over the events of last night for the last hour before finally heading back to the station.

She had chosen chamomile for its soothing and sedative reputation.  Slowly, but surely the tea was working its way through her system, making her feel more calm and relaxed by the minute.  Sandra hoped that she could relax enough to get some much needed rest.  By the time she had gotten back to her hotel room last night, she was too shaken up to go to sleep.  Sandra had tossed and turned and jumped at every little noise.  Then, when she finally managed to actually fall asleep, her slumber had only lasted about three hours before her nightmares awoke her.

Luca and Elaine stopped by early before breakfast and Sandra had told them that she had food poisoning from last night's dinner and wouldn't make it to today's meetings.  She didn't want to worry them with the truth.  They had sent her get well wishes and had promised to check on her at lunch.  Sandra couldn't help but smile at their words.  It was actually the first time she had smiled since the attack, and she was grateful for it.  It helped her to feel somewhat normal again.

Sitting in the cushioned desk chair at the corner of the room, she had her knees pulled up to her chest as she leaned back and sipped her tea.  In an attempt to distract her mind from last night's horror show, Sandra studied her room.

The room was standard, yet classy.  It had a cream carpeted floor with red mahogany furnishings, including a desk, two double beds, a tv stand, and one extra-large dresser.  The beds had comforters covered in horizontal stripes of maroon and light blue that varied in size and had white sheets underneath.  The covers on the bed Sandra had been using were messy and balled up, while the other bed was left untouched.  She was supposed to have a roommate, Kelly Greenlund, but she went into labor the week before and was now on maternity leave.  Sandra was now extremely thankful that she got to have the room to herself.  After everything that  had happened, she just wanted to be alone.

No matter how hard she tried to distract herself, the memories of last night kept popping back into her mind.  She shook her head and tried to think of happy thoughts.  _Connor_.  Sandra smiled as she thought of her son.  If only she could see his face, then she would feel much better.  At that moment, Sandra thought to look at the photo on her phone.  After placing her mug of tea on the desk in front of her, she turned and started for the bedside table only to realize that it wasn't there in its usual spot, so Sandra began searching the bed.  She looked through all the covers and pillows, tossing them to the floor.  _Nothing_.  She then looked underneath the bed.  _Still nothing_.  Sandra went over to the dresser and rummaged through the items on top.   Coming up  with squat, she entered the bathroom to give it a quick once over, but the phone was nowhere in sight.

Sandra was getting frustrated, raking her hands through her long, dark hair as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.  _Where the hell is it?_   She questioned silently, but before she could think any further, there was a knock on the door.  Sandra ambled the few feet from the bathroom to the main door and threw it open in irritation, figuring it was either maid service or the officer returning to ask more questions, but it was neither.  On the other side of the door, Sandra saw the last person she had ever expected to see: Oliver Queen.

Oliver used  his charm to win over the woman at the front desk, allowing him to have access to the guest only elevators.  He rode quietly up to the third floor and was now standing in front of room 312.  Oliver took a deep breath as he tightened his grip on the cell phone, which was inside the pocket of his leather jacket.  _Here goes nothing._   He thought to himself, before knocking on the door.  There was no turning back now.

He waited only a moment before the door opened wide, revealing a very shocked Sandra Hawke.

"Hello, Sandra."  Oliver said coolly as he took in her appearance.  She was exactly as he remembered, except she looked a little older and a lot more tired.  Sandra had large bags under her eyes, indicating that she hadn't slept well, and after last night's events, Oliver couldn't really blame her.  He also noted that she was clad in a long-sleeved, fitted, gray, cotton, button down shirt and black yoga pants matched with standard white hotel slippers.  Her casual look matched Oliver's, which consisted of a white tee, jeans, black leather jacket, and vans.

"Oliver."  She replied, more a statement than a question.  "What are you doing here?"  Sandra stood, one arm holding the door open, the other braced on the side of the doorway, blocking him from entering the room.

"I found your phone."  Oliver explained, pulling the device from his pocket and handing it over to her.

"Oh my gosh, thank you!"  Sandra said.  Her whole life was on that thing: appointments, reminders, family photos, etc.  It would be quite the setback, if she had lost it for good.  Suddenly a thought occurred to her.  "Where'd you find it?"

"I went for an early morning run and found it in the street."  Oliver answered.  Wow, three years as a vigilante and his lies still sucked.

"Right."  Sandra replied, not completely buying what he was selling.  "So, how did you know it was mine?"

Oliver smiled nervously.  "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about... can I come in, please?  Just for a minute."  He plead with his eyes.

Sandra nodded silently, before stepping aside.  Once he was in, she shut the door and stared at him, arms crossed over her chest as she hugged herself for comfort.

"Look, Oliver, this really isn't a great time for me, so..."

"I''ll make this quick."  he took a deep breath.  "You asked me how I knew the phone was yours... well, I knew because when I took it home and charged it, I saw the photo on your home screen of you and your son... _our_ son."

Her eyes went wide as her arms went slack at her sides.  Sandra opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so Oliver continued.

"You never lost the baby, did you?" He had to know the truth.  He had to hear her say it.

"No."  Sandra all but whispered, then proceeded to bite her thumb nail nervously.  Her decision to lie to Oliver was a complicated one, and even though she felt guilty about it over the years, she didn't regret it.  However, with him here now, asking her directly and looking so distraught, Sandra couldn't lie to him again.

Hearing her response, Oliver closed his eyes for a moment, pressing his lips into a hard line.  Once he opened his eyes, he spoke again.

"How could you do that to me?  How could you just lie and leave and keep my son a secret?"

Sandra dropped her hand from her mouth and plopped down on the foot of the neatly made bed that she had been standing in front of.  Unable to look at him, she stared at her hands clasped in her lap as she responded.

"Because your mother paid me to."

"What?"  Oliver's jaw tightened.  He was officially angry now.

"I came by to see you the one day...to discuss our situation, and you weren't there.  Your mother was and pulled me into her office.  She gave me some speech about motherhood, then handed me a check, telling me to leave town and take care of the situation as I see fit.  The lying to you part was implied."  After giving her explanation, she finally made herself look at him.  He was staring angrily at nothing in particular with his arms at his sides, while his thumbs rubbed against his forefingers.  She stared at him until he made eye contact with her.

"I'm so sorry, Oliver."  Sandra apologized as she stood and made her way to his side, placing a hand on his upper arm.  "I didn't want to hurt you, but.. I guess I was just afraid.

"Of my mother?"  He asked.

She nodded.  "She was a scary woman when she wanted to be.  I honestly wasn't sure what she would do if I refused her, and I had an innocent child to think about."  She dropped her hand, touching it briefly to her stomach on the word "child" before letting it fall completely to her side.

It was Oliver's turn to nod.  "I get it.  My mother... "  He paused, rubbing at the back of his neck as he collected his thoughts.  "She had a tendency of going to extreme lengths when it came to protecting her family.  She also had a tendency of using money and lies to fix her problems."  He locked his eyes on hers before adding, "I wish you would have told me the truth though, about what my mom did, I mean, I could have said something to her, I-"

"You're right."  She cut him off.  "I should have told you, but what's done is done, the past is in the past."

"But what about the present?"  He questioned, looking at her intently.

"What do you mean?"  She answered, somewhat confused.

"I _mean_ , what if I want to be involved?"  Oliver asked, plunging his hands into his pockets and looking away from the woman in front of him, scared of what her answer may be.

Sandra knew that he meant involved in Connor's life...in _their_ life...and so she decided to answer his question with another question. 

"Do you _want_ to be involved?"  She queried, crossing her arms and quirking a thin brow.

"I..."  Oliver hesitated a moment, not completely sure of what he wanted.

"Look," Sandra interrupted, "From the very beginning, before your mother inserted herself into the equation, I had always wanted you to be involved, that is, if you wanted to be..."  She trailed off, before starting on her next thought.  "Anyway, my point is, I had originally told you that your level of involvement was up to you, and, well, I am still gonna stand by that.  So, why don't you take some time to think about it, and let me know what you want to do.  Okay?"  Sandra finished, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear.

"Okay."  Oliver agreed with a nod, hands clasped behind his back.  "So, how long are you in town for?"  He asked, wanting to know how much time he had  exactly to think things over.  It would be best for both of them if he could make and let her know his decision before she left.

"I leave tomorrow morning."  She answered.

Oliver nodded in understanding, then things got quite for a long moment as they just stared at each other.  Sandra couldn't help but see Connor in all his facial expressions.  They looked so much alike.  She hadn't realized just how much until seeing Oliver again.

"Well, I should probably get going.  I have a lot to think about."  He gave her a small smile.

"Yes, you do."  She agreed and walked him to the door.

They paused at the entry way not sure what to do as they exchanged goodbyes.  What do you do with someone you barely know, but have a child with?  Handshake?  Wave?  High-five?

They settled for a very awkward hug, then she closed the door behind him.

Sandra turned around and leaned her back against the door, sliding downward until her butt hit the carpeted floor.  Leaning her head back, she let out a loud sigh.  This had to be the worst business trip of all business trips, or at the least the most dramatic, but maybe, just maybe, something good would come out of it.  Technically, something good already has because Oliver now knows the truth.  That thought made Sandra smile a little.  She felt like a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders, like she didn't need to feel guilty anymore.  The best part in all of this, though, was that whatever happened next, both her and Oliver would get exactly what they needed after eight long years: closure.

*****

Oliver's head was spinning as he made his way over to the lair.  Upon his arrival, he stripped from his jacket and t-shirt and headed straight for a dummy, beating it with every ounce of his strength, releasing all the anger he had kept bottled up since last night.  Anger over finding out about Connor like he did, over Sandra lying for so long, over his mother's part in all of this.  This whole thing was insane.  Where was he to go from here?

He kept throwing punch after punch, not even bothering to stop when his knuckles began to bleed.  Oliver threw in a few elbow jabs and kicks as well for good measure.  He had been going at it for an hour when Felicity walked in.  He had called her cell and left a message saying to meet him at the lair on her lunch break, but apparently she was able to get off early.

"Oliver!  Oliver, stop!"  She yelled, throwing her purse to the side and making a beeline for her man.  "Oh my gosh, you're bleeding!"  Felicity exclaimed as she grabbed the arm closest to her, preventing him from landing another punch.

"I'm fine." _Physically._ He added the last part mentally because right now even he couldn't deny that he was an emotional wreck.  "...and apparently a father."

"Oh, Oliver..."  Felicity trailed off, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into her embrace.   She saw the pained look on his face when he spoke those last few words and her heart broke for him.

Oliver hugged Felicity back, pulling her tight against his chest, not wanting to let go.  They held each other like that for a long moment as he inhaled her scent of flowers and sunshine, letting it soothe him along with the feel of the soft fabric of her dress.  She was wearing that yellow and grey colorblock dress that hugged her body in all the right places, and had paired with her black heels, glasses, and Felicity-esque ponytail.

By the time Felicity pulled away a few seconds later, Oliver was feeling a lot better.  It was amazing how a quick hug from her could do more for his mood than hitting a dummy for an hour.  He was so fortunate to have found this remarkable woman.

"Come here."  Felicity commanded, leading him to a chair at a nearby table.  She then grabbed the first aid kit and sat down beside him to tend to his wounds.  Applying the antiseptic, she glanced at him a spoke again.  "Tell me what happened."

Oliver took a deep breath, then gave her the rundown of his conversation with Sandra.  She had just finished bandaging his left hand with some gauze as he told her about Sandra's offer to be involved in Connor's life.

Holding his hand in both of hers, Felicity kissed his bandage before asking, "So, what are you gonna do?"

Oliver sighed, "I don't know.  Part of me wants to get to know him and be the father he deserves, but another part feels like it might be too late, and that me making an attempt at fatherhood is just a bad idea waiting to happen."

Felicity was about to respond , but Oliver cut off her, not finished with his thought quite yet.

"I mean, I know I'm not The Arrow anymore, but I have still done a lot of bad things in the past, things that could come back to haunt me and put his life in danger.  God knows, it wouldn't the first time that my past came back to bite me."

"Let's just put the vigilante thing aside for right now."  Felicity suggested.  "If that wasn't a consideration, what would your heart be telling you?"  She asked, moving one of her hands to his warm, bare chest, placing her palm over his heart for emphasis.  He gave a sad smile as he automatically covered her hand with his own.

"I don't know...I mean, coming into his life now could really confuse him and, ultimately, do a lot more harm than good.  Besides, I know nothing about eight year olds or raising a kid.  On the other hand... if I don't, and he finds out about me later on somehow, he may hate me and resent the choice I have made."

"Possibly, Or..."  Felicity interjected.  "There are other happier options."

Oliver just stared at her a moment, waiting for her to continue.

She shook her head playfully at him for not realizing that this doesn't have to end badly for anyone.

"For instance, if you did enter his life now you could be making him happier, giving him the dad he never really had.  As for the other scenario, if you didn't get involved and he did find out about you later, which is not very likely by the way, he may just understand your reasoning and accept your decision."  She squeezed his hand lightly for reassurance.  "This _could_ have a happy ending, Oliver."

"Or it _could_ end horribly."  He affirmed, staring at their conjoined hands instead of her eyes like he was a second ago.

Felicity just swallowed and nodded.  She understood Oliver's thinking all too well and was very familiar with the concept of things ending horribly, but just because a decision of hers didn't end well, that didn't mean that Oliver's would have the same result.  Though it didn't mean it wouldn't either.  Felicity kept her one hand in place on his chest, but moved the other to cup the side of his face, making him meet her eyes once more.

"You're right, Oliver, but so am _I_.  You see, the thing is, every time we make a decision, we have no idea how it'll work out in the end.  That's because no one knows for sure what the future holds.  So, all we can do is make the best choice in the now and hope for the best." Once she finished her little speech, she moved her hand upward, raking it through the side of his hair, and then brought it back down to grab his hand again.

"I guess, but... I'm just so confused.  How do I know what the best choice is?"  Oliver wondered aloud.

"You'll just know.  Trust me."  She kissed his hand to mark her promise.

 It was quiet for a long moment as he mulled over what Felicity had said.  "What do _you_ think I should do?" He suddenly asked.

She sighed before replying, "I can't tell you what to do, Oliver."

"Really?"  He arched a brow.  "Cause you've had no problem doing so in the past." Oliver joked as he threw a smirk her way.

"True," she smiled, he made a very good point, "but this time things are different.  This time it isn't about doing what's best for _you_ , it's about doing what is best for _your son_ , which is something only you can know... and Sandra."  She informed him as she poked him in the chest playfully on the words "you" and "your son" to accentuate her point.

He shook his head in agreement, looking very solemn.

"Listen,"  Felicity went on, "I know it's not easy making decisions about another person's life, but you are a good person, Oliver, and I have no doubt that you will do the right thing.  Just try to remember... that sometimes the right thing can be the hardest thing. "  She half smiled and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, but he didn't let her get away that easily.  Cradling the side of her head with his hand, he pulled her head back towards him and crashed his lips to hers.

After a few minutes, Felicity pulled back, allowing them both to catch their breath.  Felicity suddenly realized that sometime during their make-out session, she must've moved closer to Oliver because she was now sitting side-saddle across his lap rather than in the chair across from him.  She pressed her forehead against his and stroked the side of his neck with her hand, while the other felt up his abs.

"As much as I enjoy this closeness, I should probably get back to work."  Felicity said, yet she didn't move from her spot.

"I think that requires moving."  He quipped as he began massaging her thigh.

Felicity moaned with pleasure, before responding, "Never mind.  I quit."

"No you don't."  He chuckled, knowingly.  "You love your work."

"But I love this and you more."  Felicity insisted, kissing his neck to prove it.

"Fe-li-ci-ty."  Oliver stretched her name in warning.

"Okay, fine."  She relented with a smile as Oliver stood up, placing Felicity on her feet.

Felicity then walked over to grab her purse and slung it over her shoulder.  She came back over to where Oliver stood and grabbed his face between her hands.  "I love you."  She kissed him on the nose.  "We will talk later, okay?"

"Okay."  He consented, then proceeded to watch her as she walked out of the room, admiring her long legs and taut behind.

For the last few minutes Oliver had lost himself in Felicity and their flirtation, but as the door slammed shut, the day's dilemma came flooding back to him.  He had a choice to make, and after listening to Felicity's advice, Oliver was pretty sure that he knew what that choice should be, but first... he had to talk to Sandra one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next...  
> *Oliver has a few questions for Sandra  
> *Oliver makes his decision  
> *Felicity does some thinking of her own and decides to reveal a long kept secret to Oliver  
> \-------->any one figure out the secret yet? ;)


	6. The Truth Will Set You Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver decides to do the right thing, and so does Felicity. Consequently, Oliver learns that he and Felicity have more in common than he would have ever thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! So, this chapter took a lot longer than I anticipated, but it is worth the wait! Promise! Things get quite emotional, but there is some cutesy Olicity stuff too. Oh, and FYI this is the longest and last chapter, so I hope you enjoy it! :)

After talking with Oliver, old emotions of fear, shame, and anxiety came flooding back and combined themselves with the new feelings of fear, shame, and anxiety.  Feeling completely overwhelmed, the tears began to fall, and Sandra threw herself on the coverless bed, burying her face in one of the pillows.  She cried long and hard until the previous night's lack of sleep caught up with her and she drifted off.

 When Sandra awoke, she felt a warmth encircling her as she lie on the bed.  Peeking her eyes open, Sandra noticed that the bed covers had been pulled back up onto the bed and over her curled up form.  Confused, she sat up and glanced around the room.  Everything appeared normal, then Sandra noticed the nightstand to her left, which stood in-between the two beds.  Her phone sat there, plugged in and charging next to a note written on the hotel's stationary.  Getting a closer look, Sandra picked up the small piece of paper and began to read.

_Dear Sandy,_

_We came to check on you like the amazing friends that we are, but didn't have the heart to wake you.  Hope you feel better soon!_

_P.S. That guy from the bar was totally gay.  Details to come!_

_Sincerely, the two greatest people you'll ever meet,_

_L & E_

Sandra smiled and shook her head, the message may have been from both of her friends, but she could tell that Luca wrote it, not only because it was in his handwriting but because she could sense Luca's attitude emanating from the words just by the way it was written, especially from the side note and sign off.  They were uniquely Luca.

Placing the note back on the side table, she let out a slight laugh, then winced as she grabbed at her forehead.  All the crying must have prompted a headache, so Sandra snagged her cell and finally got up, heading for the bathroom where she popped some aspirins.

After doing so, she took a moment to check her phone.  There were no new messages, but she decided to send one of her own to the sitter to check on Connor.  That is when Sandra noticed the time.  It was half past one.  She had slept for a solid four hours without having a single dream, or if she did, she didn't remember.  Either way, Sandra was happy.

Though her mood was lifted a bit, Sandra still looked like crap.  Her hair was a knotted mess and face puffy.  The only upside was that the look made the bags under her eyes seem less obvious.  Turning around, Sandra rolled her shoulders as she stretched and made her way over to the tub.  She had opted for a shower earlier this morning before the policeman came over to question her, but now wanted nothing more than to relax in a nice hot bath.  So, she let the water run as she stripped down and pulled her hair into a messy bun.  Once the tub was nearly full, she turned off the faucet and turned on the 80s playlist from her phone's music library.  Slipping inside of the bath, Sandra was more than happy to let the hot water and the musical stylings of Cyndi Lauper alleviate all her stress and soothe her into a state of utter bliss.

It wasn't until the water turned cold, that Sandra removed herself from the bath.  Feeling somewhat relaxed and refreshed, she redressed herself in her clothes from before, then proceeded to wash her face with her special facial scrub she had left out by the sink.  After finishing that task, she released her long hair from the ponytail keeping it in place.  Sandra had just ran her hands through the messy mop of hers to smooth out the bumps when she heard a knock at the door.

******

It had been around noon when Felicity headed back to work for the remainder of the day, leaving Oliver to his thoughts.  After considering Felicity's advice, Oliver was pretty sure of what he needed to do and had half a mind to run straight back over to Sandra's hotel room and tell her.  However, he couldn't do that just yet.  He was only  pretty sure, and pretty sure wasn't good enough.  Oliver had to be absolutely certain of his decision before he made it because once he did, there would be no going back.  Plus, Oliver was smelling pretty rank at the moment due to his impromptu work out session.  A shower was definitely a must before going to see anyone.  So, he threw his shirt and jacket back on and headed outside to where he had left his motorcycle.

Oliver was halfway to Felicity's place when he realized where he was going.  Quickly, he hit the brakes and pulled on the handlebars, making a sudden U-turn and speeding off in the opposite direction towards Thea's apartment.  In truth, Oliver could have gone to Felicity's.  He had extra clothes there and a key to get in, but the thing was, he didn't want to.  Oliver knew that while he showered, he would be thinking of Sandra and his shameful past that led him to this moment, and he didn't want to taint Felicity's place with those thoughts.  Her apartment was a place of happiness and hope, it was his safe haven.  There was no way he was going to ruin that, so to Thea's he drove.

Bathrooms are one of the best places for a person to just relax and think, but as Oliver prepared his shower, he decided not to think.  Instead, he focused on clearing his mind as the hot spray hit his body, loosening his muscles and putting him at ease.  To keep his mind from wandering to the situation at hand, Oliver started to think about the simpler times of when his biggest issue was going through puberty.  He thought about playing games with Thea, and how he always let her win just to see her smile.  He thought about pulling pranks with, and on, Tommy, and how no matter what he did to his best friend, he never stayed mad for long.  He even thought about Laurel and how they slowly lost their innocence together from a first kiss to a first date to... _other_ firsts.  This led him to think about all the firsts he had already shared with Felicity and all the firsts that were yet to come.  At that, he couldn't help but smile.

After what felt like at least an hour in the shower, Oliver got out and redressed in the same jeans, but donned a new white tee.  Barefoot, he padded out to the kitchen.  The only thing that had managed to break through his thoughts while he was in the shower was his growling stomach, so after forcing himself to leave his steam bubble of comfort, he decided to make himself some lunch.  Oliver noted the fridge looked pretty bare, as did the cupboards, so he collected his jacket and shoes and headed for Big Belly Burger.

Spending about an hour and a half there, Oliver decided he couldn't put off his decision anymore.  So, he hopped back on his motorcycle and took one long ride.  He drove to the outskirts of town, to the countryside where his old family home was located.  Oliver really missed Queen Mansion, and not just because it was a mansion, but because it held a lot of fond memories for him, because it was his original safe haven.

Parking his bike out front, Oliver stood and removed his helmet.  The mansion was dirty and abandoned, and the greenery around it had died and turned brown.  Oliver walked around to the grassy knoll on the side of the house and laid down at the top on his back.  He and Thea used to lay there for hours and watch the clouds, describing the shapes they saw.  Oliver grinned at the memory before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath of fresh air.

 _I wonder if Connor has ever watched the clouds._   He thought to himself.  _Connor.  Connor Oliver Hawke.  My son._ A part of Oliver still couldn't believe that he was a father, but he was.  Now what was he going to do about it?

At first glance, the situation seemed simple.  Oliver should take responsibility for his actions and be the father Connor deserved, but... what if he couldn't be?  Oliver knew nothing about being a father.  Maybe... maybe Connor was better off without him.  After all, he has been doing fine without him so far.  Then again, maybe he wasn't better off.  Maybe that was just an excuse Oliver gave himself to let him take the easy way out, the coward's way.  I mean, wasn't that what he would be doing?

Oliver let out a loud breath and slung his arm over his eyes to block the sunshine.  He decided it would be easier to focus on one side at a time, so he did.  _Let's say I decide to do this dad thing..._ He said silently to himself, then considered what would happen.  Everyone would find out: Thea, Diggle, Laurel...

What would they think of him then?  He wasn't sure what Digg would say, given he wasn't sure where they even stood at the moment, but no doubt Thea and Laurel would be pissed.  However, if they were okay about it, then what?  Would he visit on the weekends?  Would he move to Central City?  What about Starling?  There were other heroes around to keep it safe now, so that didn't seem as much of an issue, but could he-would he- really make that move?  What about Felicity?  Oliver knew that she would follow him anywhere, but her life was in Starling, and he couldn't just totally uproot it like that, he wouldn't.  Maybe there was a simpler solution that he was missing.  A giant cloud covered the sun and Oliver removed his arm from his face and slammed it into the ground out of frustration.  He was getting nowhere.

Oliver just lay there for a long moment, taking deep calming breaths.  All of a sudden, the sun broke through the clouds, casting its rays over his face.  At that particular moment, Felicity's words from earlier came flooding back into Oliver's mind.  _"it isn't about doing what's best for you, it's about doing what is best for your son."_

Felicity was right, and Oliver suddenly hated himself.  This whole time he was being selfish, thinking about the impact this dad thing would have on him, but what he should have been thinking about was the impact it would have on Connor.  Would he be happy and excited or angry and confused?  Would he want to spend time with Oliver or would he resent him?  Oliver didn't know, and was a little scared to find out. 

Just then, he remembered something else Felicity had told him, that sometimes the right thing can be the hardest thing.  At that, Oliver sat up and opened his eyes, letting a warm breeze blow over him as the sun poked out from the cloud once more.  Right then, he felt more confident and knew it was time to talk to Sandra again, so he stood up and made his way back to his bike, taking the long way back to the inner-city.  Today was already proving to be a long day, and it wasn't even over yet.

*****

Sandra moved to the main door, but instead of just throwing it open like the last time, she looked through the peephole first.  Not wanting any more surprises, Sandra decided a quick peek could help her mentally prepare herself for whoever was knocking.  As her dominant eye peered through the little glass hole, she noted a familiar masculine form standing in the hall. _Oliver_.  Taking a deep breath, Sandra opened the door slowly.

"Hi."  She said softly as she waved him inside.

"Hi."  Oliver repeated, stepping inside the room.

"So..."  Sandra started as she closed the door and turned to face him, "have you made your decision yet?"

"Yes, I think so..."  Oliver answered, "but first, I need some answers."  He added, standing up straight with his hands clasped behind his back.

"Okay.  What do you want to know?"  Sandra queried, crossing her arms.

"Are you aware that my mother died about a year and a half ago?"  He asked, genuinely curious.

"Yes.  Sorry about that by the way."  Sandra responded, giving a small sad smile.

"So, why didn't you tell me the truth _then_ when she was no longer an obstacle?"

Sandra sighed, sitting down on the edge of the neatly made bed beside them.  "I don't know, Oliver.  I guess I figured that you had enough to deal with.  Plus, so much time had already passed that it just seemed too late to tell you."

Oliver watched Sandra fidget with her hands as she spoke, purposely avoiding his eyes.  Clearly, she felt bad about how she handled the situation, but Oliver understood why she did what she did.  He wasn't angry...much.  His response was to press his lips into a hard line and nod his understanding, which she saw when she finally made eye contact with him again.

"So, other than when my mother died, was there ever a time when you thought about coming clean with me?"

"Only every day."  Sandra replied, running a hand through her hair.  "Every time that I would look at Connor, I would see you and feel so guilty.  Guilty enough, that I would consider telling you, but I was always able to talk myself out of it, mostly because I was afraid of your mother, partially because I was afraid of you, of what you might do."

Oliver opened his mouth to responded, but Sandra continued on before he could.

"Like I am right now."  She added, suddenly becoming very nervous and wiping her sweaty palms on her lap.  His decision could change everything or nothing at all, and it was nerve-racking not knowing which. What was Oliver Queen going to do?

Oliver furrowed his brow as he looked at her and spoke.  "I would never intentionally hurt him or try to take him away from you."  He said seriously, coming off as more of a promise than a statement as he placed a hand on her shoulder.  Sandra stared at him a moment and saw the sincerity in his eyes. 

"I believe you."  She stated, pushing some hair behind her ear as he brought his hand back to his side.  "But that's not what I meant.  The thing is, by telling you the truth, I'm also giving you the power to turn my life, and Connor's life, upside-down... and that loss of control terrifies me."

"So, why give me a choice?  You could have just told me to stay away."  Oliver responded, taking a seat beside her on the foot of the bed.

"It was the right thing to do."  Sandra shrugged.  "For your sake and Connor's.  I don't want my selfishness to be the reason you two are kept apart.  If there is one thing that parenthood has taught me, it's that you need to put your child's feelings above your own."

Oliver nodded before replying.  "You're right.  This is about Connor, not us.  That's why I need to know just one more thing before I make my decision."

"Which is?"  Sandra inquired, looking him in the eyes.

"What did you tell Connor about me?  I mean, why does he think that I'm not in his life?  Where does he think I am?"

There was a long pause and Oliver just sat there, holding his breath as he waited for a response.

Sandra bit her lip as she tried to choose her words carefully.  She thought this may come up and wasn't sure how he was going to react.  She decided to use the same phrasing that she used for Connor.

"I told him that his dad was with the angels in heaven."  Sandra answered.

Oliver took a moment to process her words.  He was taken aback.

"You told Connor... that I was dead?"  Oliver questioned, feeling a little hurt.

"I'm sorry, I know it sounds awful,"  She started to explain, fidgeting with her hands again, "but by the time he was old enough to ask about you, I thought you really _had_ died in that boating incident, so I figured I could tell him at least a partial truth."

The timeline of all this finally donned on Oliver.  How could he forget that while Sandra was teaching Connor to walk and talk, he was fighting to survive on a deadly island.  Oliver shook his head.  His life really was just one misadventure after another.

"Well," Oliver spoke up, "in that case, you did the right thing in telling him that I was dead, and I think..."  He paused, taking a deep breath.  Sandra was able to do the right thing for Connor's sake and now it was his turn.  "I think that it's best if we leave it that way."

"Wait, what do you mean?"  Sandra asked, wanting to be sure of what exactly he was saying.

" _I mean_ , that I think it would be best for me to stay out of Connor's life and let him keep thinking that I was dead."

Sandra placed her hand over Oliver's, which lay atop his thigh, before replying.  "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am."  Oliver nodded, sandwiching her hand with his.  Those three words were like a punch to the stomach, but at the same time they felt right.  Oliver knew that he was doing the right thing, the _right_ thing and the _hardest_ thing.  "The two of you have made a good life for yourselves, and I don't want to screw that up.  He's better off without me, you both are."

"Okay."  She agreed.  "If that's what you want."

"It is."  Oliver assured.

The room fell silent as they both let Oliver's decision sink in.  Oliver felt melancholy, but kept his face indifferent, while Sandra was clearly relieved.

"Well," Oliver's voice suddenly broke the silence, "I should probably get going."  He finished as he stood up, releasing her hand from his grasp.

"Right."  Sandra nodded, understanding his desire to leave so soon, and walked him the short distance to the door.  She opened it wide, stepping to the side.  Oliver just stared at her for a second, unmoving.

"I am staying out of Connor's life, but that doesn't mean I have to stay out of yours.  If you ever need anything..." he trailed off.

"Thanks,"  she interjected, "I'll keep that in mind."

Oliver gave a single head nod before bidding her farewell.

"Goodbye, Sandra."  He said, placing his hand on the side of her arm briefly before crossing the threshold.

"Goodbye, Oliver."  She replied with a small wave that matched her equally tiny smile.

After closing the door, Sandra leaned against it for the second time that day and felt another weight being lifted off of her shoulders.  She finally got some closure, and hoped Oliver did too.  He was a sweet guy, back then and now, and she really hoped that one day he would get a second chance at fatherhood.  He deserved that much.

Maybe there was a time when the three of them could have been a happy little family, but that time was long gone.  Too much had happened, and now Oliver had his own life, and they had theirs.  The latter of which was pretty great to Sandra, and she couldn't wait to get back home to it.  It wasn't an easy life by any means, but Sandra wouldn't trade it for the world.

*****

Once she left Oliver, Felicity swung by Big Belly Burger to grab some fries and a chocolate shake to go, then headed straight back to work.  Ray was so sweet to let her take an early lunch so she could go and check on Oliver.  Felicity knew it wasn't easy for Ray to see her with Oliver, but he respected their relationship, and there were no hard feelings between them.  For that, Felicity was grateful.

"So much for being sweet." Felicity grumbled as she set her lunch on her desk, though she wasn't really angry.  Ray had left a list of things to do taped on her computer monitor, so Felicity sat down at her desk and got to work.

She spent the next few hours writing and rewriting code and working on getting the new and improved applied sciences building up and running.  Felicity got lost in her work, forgetting all about Oliver and his current dilemma.  It didn't cross her mind once until she got a text from Oliver around four o'clock that said:

**_I made my decision.  Be by later with dinner to talk about it.  Love you._ **

Felicity just stared at the text message a moment, wondering what Oliver had chosen to do.  He wasn't the greatest at making decisions, but he _had_ been doing a lot better as of late.  I mean, she couldn't argue with him choosing her over the vigilante life.  Even so, Felicity started to feel anxious.  If Oliver _did_ decide to be in Connor's life, would that change things between them?  That was a stupid question.  Of course it would, but would things change _too_ much?  Would he end up moving to Central?  It seemed like a logical next step, but if he _did_ move, where did that leave them?  Would she go with him?

 _Stop it , Lis!_ She told herself, as she shook her head, breaking through her thoughts.  She knew that she was _way_ over-thinking things.  Felicity needed to stop worrying about things that weren't even real problems yet.  Besides, if it _did_ get that far, and Oliver _did_ want to move, then she would be supportive and go with him.  Honestly, when it came down to it, there was no choice to make.  Felicity would follow him anywhere, forever and always.  And why?  Because she loved him, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the ones you love, putting their needs first.  Felicity was no stranger to this concept.  Recognizing how true that last thought was, she found her mind drifting to that dark place, the one that held her best kept secret.  A pit began to form in her stomach.

 _No, Felicity!  Don't go there!_ She silently commanded as her bottom lip began to tremble.  All of  a sudden, the computer beeped, signaling that the encryption program that she had been using was finished running, and all the company files were now protected.  Felicity let out a deep breath, willing away the tears that threatened to spill over.  After exiting out of the program, Felicity sat back in her leather chair and took a few more calming breaths.  She thought she was okay until an ad popped up on her computer for Johnson's baby lotion.  It had a picture of a mother kissing her infant on his smooth, moisturized cheek.  She saw the photo then the words "Mommy loves you" and lost it before she could read anything more.  Tears ran down her face as she shook her head violently and covered her mouth.

 _No, not here!  I cannot make a scene at work!_ Felicity scolded herself.  She then took a moment to collect herself, wiping her eyes and smoothing out her hair and dress.  Once she felt somewhat put together, she gathered her things, deciding to call it a day.  As she shot a text to Ray saying she wasn't feeling well and was going home early, Felicity made a beeline for the elevator.  When the doors opened, there was one woman standing inside who had a file in one hand and the other rubbing her swollen belly soothingly.  She didn't know the woman's name , let alone how far along she was, but the woman certainly looked like she was ready to pop.  Felicity's eyes went wide and she hesitated.  _Nope.  Can't do it_.  She thought to herself, before stuttering moronically, "I-I forgot...a-a thing."  Not caring how crazy she sounded to the woman, Felicity took off for the stairs, taking them two at a time to the ground floor.  She managed to keep it together the whole way down the stairs, the whole way to her car, and for the whole drive home.  However, once Felicity was safely inside the comfort of her own apartment, she broke down.  Dropping her purse and tossing aside her shoes and glasses, Felicity threw herself onto the living room couch, where she let the overwhelming sense of sadness takeover.  She cried and wept and wept and cried, finally letting herself feel the emotions that she had been denying since she had first heard about Connor's existence.  Felicity lay on her stomach as she bawled, arms wrapped around the polka-dotted couch pillow that she had her face buried in as a way to stifle her sobbing.  Felicity bawled until her head hurt, and then some more, until she finally cried herself to sleep.

*****

As Oliver left the hotel, he felt a tightening in his chest.  He desperately needed some air.  Once he made it outside, he drew in a giant breath and let it back out.  Oliver was upset that he would never get to meet his son, but he was also confident that he made the right decision.  It would be better this way for everyone.  Climbing back on his motorcycle, Oliver decided to take another long drive, focusing only on the sound of the engine and the road in front of him. 

Once he felt better, he made his way back over to the lair and kept himself busy by taking inventory of all the weapons.  Eventually, Thea showed up, and they ended up having an impromptu training session that lasted about an hour.  Near the end of their session, Laurel showed up, resulting in another impromptu training session.  Oliver had to admit that Thea and Laurel were pretty good at holding their own, but they still had a lot to learn.  Being a vigilante isn't all physical, you have to be mentally prepared as well.  Checking the time, Oliver noted it was a little before six and decided to just save that lesson for next time and call it a day.  After saying his goodbyes, he picked up some Chinese food and headed to Felicity's place.

Finding the door to be unlocked, Oliver made his way inside, slamming the door shut behind him.  The loud noise woke Felicity who had still been asleep on the couch.  Hearing Oliver call her name, she quickly righted herself, wiping dried tears off of her face and placing her glasses back on.  Realizing that her ponytail was now all askew, Felicity pulled out the hair band and hastily ran her fingers through her lose locks as she padded over to Oliver.

"Hey."  She said softly with a small smile.

"Hey."  He smiled back, giving her a quick peck on the lips, letting his hand linger on her cheek before returning it back to his side..

Felicity stared sweetly at him for a moment before asking, "So, how'd it go with Sandra?"  She leaned her side against the pantry door, arms crossed, waiting for a response.  Oliver placed his hands in his pockets and broke eye contact for just a second.

"It went as well as can be expected, I guess."  He shrugged.

"And?"  Felicity probed, dying to know what he decided to do about the situation.

"And... I told her that I thought it was best if I wasn't involved."

"Oh," She responded, feeling relieved yet sad for Oliver.  Felicity could see the pain in his eyes, so she hugged him from the side, trying to comfort him.  "I'm sorry, Oliver."

He wrapped his long arm around her, hugging her back as he replied, "Well, it's like you said, I had to do what was best for Connor _now_ and stop worrying about the future... so, I did."

"Well, I 'm proud of you for doing the right thing, not that I'm surprised."  She smiled, placing a kiss on his chest.

Oliver pulled her in closer so she was directly in front of him, and they were pressed together stomach to stomach with his hands splayed across the small of her back.  As her arms wrapped around his back, he placed a kiss on her forehead.  "Thank you."  He stated simply.

"For what?"  She questioned, looking up into his steel blue eyes.

"For helping me through this and always believing in me."  Oliver answered.  Her faith was unfaltering, and it was one of the things he loved most about her.

"You're most certainly welcome."  She grinned before pulling herself impossibly closer and burying her face into his chest.  Felicity sighed contently enjoying the security, warmth, and comfort of his embrace.  She really needed this after the afternoon she had endured.

Chin resting atop Felicity's head, Oliver spoke again.

"I really don't deserve you."

Felicity pulled back to look at him then responded.

"Okay... one, you're wrong; two, if I have to hear you say that again, I will punch you in that pretty little jaw line of yours, which will undoubtedly hurt me more than it will hurt you, but I will still do it to make my point, believe you me...and three, I'm no angel, Oliver.  You're not the only one who makes mistakes."

"Maybe," Oliver relented a bit, "but I bet you have never screwed up as big as I have."

Felicity took a deep breath.  It was time to tell Oliver the truth, to reveal her darkest secret.  Part of her didn't want to, but another part knew that he deserved to know after what he had confided in her these past two days.  _Here goes nothing_.  She thought as she bit her lip nervously.

"Then you would lose that bet."  Felicity assured him, pulling away further so that she was no longer pressed against him, but so her hands were still able to grip the sides of his jacket.

"What?  What do you mean?"  Oliver inquired, furrowing his brow.

"Oliver, there's something I need to tell you..."  Felicity spoke, avoiding his gaze.

At the moment, he looked at her intently, trying to read her expression for any hint of what was coming.  That's when he finally noticed it, the slight puffiness under her eyes, which appeared to be a little bloodshot and the tiresome look she wore.  He has seen this combination before.

"Felicity, have you been crying?"  Oliver suddenly asked, concern etched into his face.

"Yes, I- I've kind of had a rough day.  The thing is, your recent situation has brought up some bad memories for me.  As I was saying, there is something I need to tell you... if you'll let me."

"Of course." He nodded once, grabbing onto the sides of her shoulders and giving them a reassuring squeeze.

"Come here." She said, taking one of his hands in hers and leading him towards the living room.  They sat down beside each other on the sofa, and Felicity intertwined both her hands with his, trying to draw some of his strength into herself.  They locked eyes and she began to speak again.  "Do you remember when I told you about Cooper and how we dated in college?"

Oliver nodded and added, "Until he took the fall for both of you and got arrested."

"Right."  She confirmed.  "Well, I turned over a new leaf after that and changed my ways, becoming the Felicity that you have come to know."

"And love."  He smiled at her, giving her hands a squeeze.

"And love."  Felicity repeated, giving him a small grin back.  "But before I could completely change, there was a bit of a snag..." She trailed off.

"What kind of snag?"  Oliver questioned uncertainly.

"A pregnant one."  Felicity stated nervously, then paused to bite her lip and judge his reaction.

His eyes widened a bit as he gave her another intense look, first at her stomach, then at her eyes.  "Are you saying what I think you are saying?"

"Yes."  Felicity affirmed.  "A couple weeks after Cooper's arrest, I found out I was carrying a mini-cooper."  She clarified as she looked away, making a pun to lighten the mood somewhat.  It didn't work.

Anger surged through Oliver then, coursing through his veins.  He wanted nothing more than to pound Cooper into the ground.  How could he be so careless?  How could he let Felicity be put in that situation?  He pressed his lips into a hard line for a moment until it donned on him how hypocritical he was being.  He closed his eyes and took a breath.  How could he judge Cooper like that?  Did he not do the same exact thing with Sandra?

"Oliver, are you okay?"  She questioned, noticing the vein in his neck was beginning to pop.

He let out a snort at her question.  Shouldn't he be asking her that?  Keeping his voice calm and even, Oliver spoke again.

"Are you?"

Felicity just shrugged in response.

"So, what did you do?"  He probed further, sensing there was more she wanted to tell him.

"Freaked out mostly.  I didn't know what to do.  I took a week to just process what exactly was happening and what it all meant.  Then, I was going to tell Cooper, but before I could he had killed himself, or so I thought."  She looked away again.

Oliver felt a pang of sadness in his heart at Felicity's last statement.  At least, Sandra and Oliver would have had each other to lean on, if it weren't for his mother that is, but Felicity was left all alone to deal with it, which begged the question... how did she deal with it, precisely?  Oliver really wanted to ask, but he could see the mixture of emotions washing over her, how she was struggling with getting this all out, so he remained quiet until she was ready to continue.

After a long pause, Felicity met his eyes and went on with the story.

"I took his death pretty hard.  I blamed myself and swore that I would never cause another person to die, so that took abortion off of the table completely."

"Felicity, if Cooper had killed himself, his death would have been his own fault, not yours."

"I know that now... but at the time, it just didn't feel that way."  Felicity explained as a stray tear fell down her cheek.  She quickly wiped it away.

Oliver just nodded, not sure what else to say, so he decided to move on.

"So, you didn't get an abortion."  He stated.

"Right."  She agreed.

"Then what _did_ you do?"  Oliver finally questioned.

Felicity took a deep breath before answering.

"I thought about it long and hard, and I decided that adoption was the best option.  Not for me, but for my baby.  She deserved a better life than I could give.  I was just a 19-year-old girl with half a college education.  I would have had to drop-out, face the world alone, and get some dead -end job to make ends meet...like my mom.  Don't get me wrong, I love her for making the sacrifices she did, but I wanted more for my kid.  She deserved a family that could take care of her properly and give her the attention that she needed."

Oliver moved a hand to wipe another stray tear from  Felicity's cheek.  He let his hand sit there a moment, cradling her face as he spoke.

"I'm sure your mom would've helped you, Felicity."  He assured, dropping his hand back to hers.

"Oh, I know she would've.  She would've  insisted that I keep the baby and move back home...that's why I didn't tell her about the baby."  Felicity said somewhat ashamed.

"You didn't tell her then?  Or ever?"  Oliver wondered aloud, stunned that she really did go through all of this completely alone.  Independence was certainly a strength of hers, but sometimes it was also a weakness.

"Ever.  She still doesn't know.  No one does...except for you, and I would like to keep it that way."

"Whatever you want." He nodded.  "I'm just glad you feel comfortable telling me something like  this.  I know this can't be easy for you."

"No, it's not, but in light of recent events, I felt that you had the right to know.  Plus, I think it's about time I shared this with someone for the sake of my own sanity."  Felicity explained.

"Well, I promise your secret is safe with me." He smiled a small smile and squeezed her hands.

She gave a small smile back and sighed.  There was a lull in the conversation for a few beats until Oliver piped up again.  "Can I ask a question?"

Felicity nodded.

"Before, when you were explaining why you chose adoption, you referred to your baby as a she..."  Oliver began, when Felicity cut in, understanding what he was getting at.

"Yes, I had a daughter.  I had a beautiful baby girl."  Felicity confirmed as a few more tears fell, trickling slowly down her face.

"I bet she _was_ beautiful...and I _know_ I would win that bet."  He smiled.

She smiled and nodded, "You would."  Just then, Felicity remembered that she actually had proof.  "Wait, hang on a sec..."  She told him before rising from the couch and padding over to the coat closet by the door, wiping the tears from her face as she went.  She used the step stool that she kept at the bottom to reach a shoe box on the top shelf.  Wiping dust off of the top of the old cardboard box, Felicity brought it over to Oliver and set it on the coffee table in front of their spots on the couch.  She opened the box and pulled out a single photo, handing it to Oliver.  He took it from her and studied it a moment before a smile broke out across his face.  It was of a younger looking Felicity in a hospital bed, looking sweaty and tired and still incredibly beautiful.   In her arms, there was an infant wrapped in a little pink blanket who was also incredibly beautiful.

"I win."  Oliver said, as he looked Felicity in the eyes.  She smiled sadly.  Looking back at the photo, Oliver suddenly wondered who the photographer was.  "Who took the photo?"  He asked curiously.

"Gail Posner.  She and her husband, Aaron, were the couple that I chose to adopt my baby."

Oliver nodded and flipped the photo over.  There was a date written across the back and two names: Felicity and Megan.

"Her name is Megan?  After you?"  He questioned, remembering Felicity mentioning that her middle name was Megan.

"Yeah, that's what they decided to name her.  I told them not to, but they insisted.  They said they loved the name anyway, and that this way, she would always have a small piece of me."  Felicity told him. 

Oliver half smiled, suddenly wondering if that is why Sandra picked Oliver for Connor's middle name.  Giving it one last look, he handed the photo back to Felicity who stared at it a moment.

"So, do you keep in touch?  With the Posners, I mean."

"No."  Felicity stated, putting the photo aside and wiping away a new slew of tears.  "They offered, but I said no.  It would have been too hard."

Oliver nodded in understanding, taking Felicity's hands in his once again and sliding closer to her on the couch.

"They understood, but Gail refused to cut me off cold turkey.  So, she sent me a photo every year on Megan's birthday, letting me see what she looks like and how she's grown.  Here, see..."  Felicity said, reaching into the box and pulling out the rest of the photos.  She handed them to Oliver who set them down one-by-one in order of age.  Oliver scanned the photos in front of him.  Megan looked just like Felicity with her sapphire blue eyes and heart-shaped face.  He assumed they also had the same medium brown hair color, but since he had never actually seen Felicity's natural hair color, he couldn't be sure.  Still, there was no doubt that this little girl was Felicity's, that much was obvious.

All of a sudden, a thought struck Oliver.  Megan would be about eight now, the same age as Connor.  So, why were there only four photos?  He looked at Felicity and then back at the photos, but before he could ask her about it, she started talking again.

"The photos stopped coming on her fifth birthday.  I was disappointed when it never came, but I figured they were busy and just forgot.  So, I decided to put my computer skills to good use and dig up what I could on Megan.  That's when I found the article."  Felicity paused and took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that were pooling in the corners of her eyes.

"What article?" Oliver asked, moving closer to throw an arm around her and rub her back soothingly.  She was barely keeping it together, so Oliver was doing what he could to comfort her, but it was hard to do so effectively when he didn't fully understand why she was so upset.

"It was an article on a family of three who were in a car accident.  A drunk driver ran them off the road and down a hill.  Their car was totaled, and... there were no survivors.  It was the Posners, Oliver.  They _died_.  My b-baby... she's _dead_."  Felicity finished, before breaking down again for the second time in one day.  She sobbed violently as Oliver pulled her into his side, hugging her tight, never wanting to let go.  Felicity curled into him, but it didn't seem to help, so Oliver adjusted her, pulling her closer so that she was now sitting across his lap, legs angled off to the side.  Felicity's hands clung to Oliver's jacket as she buried her face into the soft fabric of his white t-shirt.  Oliver wrapped her in a complete bear-hug and rocked her back and forth, wishing he could do more to take away the pain.  Felicity shook so hard with each sob, that Oliver couldn't help but break down a little as well, letting a few tears of his own escape.

"Shhhh...shhhh...I'm here for you."  Oliver whispered.  He wished he had something more reassuring to say, but he couldn't think of anything.  The standard "It's okay" was not going to cut it this time because what she just told him definitely _wasn't_ okay.  Death is _never_ okay, especially when it's the death of a _child_.

"God, Felicity, I'm _so_ sorry."  He said, then placed a kiss atop her head.  "I'm so _so_ sorry."

He continued to hold her for the next 20 minutes while she cried her eyes out.  At some point, Oliver had readjusted their positioning, yet again, so that they were lying down on the couch instead of sitting.  Felicity was still clutching him and he still had himself wrapped around her like a cocoon.  He had also managed to remove her glasses at some point and place them on the coffee table.  Oliver decided to do everything he could to make her more comfortable, hoping that would help her to relax and calm down.

It worked to some extent.  Felicity wasn't shaking nearly as much anymore, and her sobs had gotten softer.  She seemed to be more in control of her emotions.  A few more minutes passed by and Felicity's sobs reduced to sniffles.

"I'm the one who should be sorry."  She finally spoke, words muffled by the strong chest she was resting her head against.

"You have _nothing_ to be sorry for, Felicity.  None of what happened was your fault.  You couldn't have known-"  Oliver started, thinking she was going to blame herself yet again.

"I know.  That's actually why I gave you the advice I did about not worrying about the future... because I know firsthand that things don't always turn out the way that you hope they will.  Some things are just out of our control."

Oliver nodded as he squeezed her tighter, finally understanding the full meaning behind her words of wisdom.

"And for the record," She continued.   "I wasn't apologizing for their deaths.  I don't blame myself, at least not anymore."

"Then what were you apologizing for?"  He queried.

"For dumping all of this on you and getting all emotional.  I didn't realize how much I was holding in, how hurt I really was."  Felicity tried to explain.

"You have the right to get as emotional as you want."  Oliver assured.  "You lost your child."

"I guess.  It's just... I wasn't a real part of her life, so I felt like I didn't have the right to mourn her death, until now that is."  Felicity replied.

"Felicity,"  Oliver spoke softly, tilting her head upward by the chin, so he could look her in the eyes, "You carried Megan inside of you for nine months, during which you gave her love, care, and affection.  Then, you did the most remarkable thing a woman can do and brought her into this world.  You were a huge part of her life.  Don't ever let anyone tell you different.  Okay?"

She just shook her head silently and hugged him tighter, officially glad that she opened up about this to Oliver.

"You know what the worst part is?"  Felicity asked, not waiting for a response.  "That I will never get the chance to know her or the person she would've become.  I will never know what her favorite color was, what TV shows she liked, or what foods she preferred.  I will never know if she would have had a love for computers like Cooper and me, and I will never know what her greatest fears and aspirations would have been.  I will never know..." She trailed off as more tears fell slowly and quietly down her cheeks.

"I think I have a pretty good idea of what she would have been like."  Oliver noted, smirking slightly at the woman in his arms.  "She would have been brilliant and strong and courageous and kind.  She would have been undeniably beautiful inside and out, just like her mother... her _birth_ mother."

Felicity let out a noise that was a combination of a sob and a laugh.  "You think so?"  She smiled.

"I know so."  He answered.  "You know what else I know?"

"What?"  Felicity questioned back, looking at him quizzically and sniffling.

"That someday, you are gonna get another chance at being a mom, and you are gonna take it and excel at it, like you do everything else."

Felicity rolled her eyes.  She certainly did not excel at everything, but she didn't correct him.  Felicity was too exhausted to argue, even playfully.  Although, her heart did swell at his words, so she gave him a lopsided smile before responding.

"So will you.  You are gonna make a great dad someday, Oliver."  Felicity assured, absentmindedly tracing his abdominal muscles with her finger overtop of his shirt.

"You think so?" Oliver questioned, arching a brow at her.

"I know so." Felicity smirked, throwing Oliver's words back at him.

He chuckled lightly in response, and Felicity could feel the rumbling of his chest against her cheek.

They sat there, lying in each other's embrace for a few more minutes, perfectly content with staying there for the rest of the night, until Felicity heard a rumbling of her own.

"Hungry?"  Oliver asked, feeling a little famished himself.

Just then, Felicity's stomach growled loudly, causing them both to erupt with laughter.

"I'll take that as a yes."  Oliver decided, sitting upward and moving Felicity with him.  They both stood up and Felicity wiped her face free of tears, swearing that she was done crying for the rest of the day, and then walked toward the glorious smell of Chinese food.  Oliver lagged behind, putting the photos back into the box.  As he did so, he scanned over them once more.  The resemblance really was uncanny.  From a precious one year old with a goofy smile of only two baby teeth to a darling four year old with messy pigtails, this little girl was indisputably a Smoak.

"Oliver?"  Felicity called.

"Coming."  Oliver called back, before putting the shoe box back into the closet, along with his jacket and heading towards the kitchen area.

As Oliver sat at the table, something struck him.  He was so worried earlier about tainting Felicity's place with bad thoughts that he didn't consider the possibility that she had already tainted it herself.  She had obviously been through a lot on her own, but now that they were a couple, dealing with things by herself was no longer an option.  Oliver needed to make her realize this fact, and he could only think of one way of doing so: by taking the next step in their relationship.

"Felicity, do you remember our conversation about me moving in here?"

She took a moment to swallow the bite of egg roll she had just taken and eyed him carefully.

"Yes, why?  You change your mind?"  Felicity asked, trying not to get her hopes up.  Her emotions were stable for now, but she could easily start crying again if she wasn't careful, and she did _not_ want to cry again.

"Not exactly..."  he began, "I was just thinking, after everything we have been through, not just in the last few days, but in the last couple years, it seems that we just can't live without each other.  We can survive, sure, but not live, not really."

"Okay, Oliver, what you're saying is romantic and all, but I am really not sure where you are going with all of this." She said, utterly confused.

"Well, I was thinking that if we can't live without each other, then we might as well live with each other."

Felicity was getting annoyed now.

"But I thought you didn't want to move in here?"  She questioned.

"I don't."  He stated matter-of-factly.  "I want to move into another apartment...with you.  We both need each other and could use a fresh start, so it seems like the perfect solution.  So...What do you say?  You wanna move in with me?"  Oliver asked nervously.

Felicity hesitated a moment just to mess with Oliver.  She can't believe that he would think she would actually say no to that request.

"I don't know." she said, rising to her feet and making her way around the table to Oliver's chair.  "I suppose I _might_ be into that..."

"You _might_ be?" Oliver queried, picking up on her teasing tone.

"On one condition." Felicity stated seriously.  "We have to share the master bedroom.  It's only fair."  She smirked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I think I can handle that."  Oliver agreed, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her in closer, so that she was now standing in-between his jean clad legs.

"Well, then I accept your offer."  Felicity said happily.

"You do?"  He asked, wanting to make sure she was certain.

"I do."  She nodded.

"Good."  Oliver said in a husky voice, before pulling her in for a long, hard kiss.  Hearing those two little words come out of her mouth did something to him.  It made him feel euphoric.  If there was a more masculine version of having butterflies in your stomach, then that's how Oliver would describe his reaction at the moment.  One thing is for certain, Oliver really hoped to hear her say those words again someday under _other_ circumstances that were just as wonderful.

The reality of what just happened suddenly came at Felicity full force.

"We're moving in together!" She squealed before running into the living room and digging her tablet out of her purse.  Rushing back to the kitchen, she crawled into Oliver's lap and started searching the web for local apartments for rent.

While Felicity stared at the screen, grinning from ear to ear, Oliver stared at her doing the same.  He loved seeing her so happy, especially after she had been so sad only a little while ago.  At that moment, he knew that taking the next step in their relationship was the right thing to do, and though the right thing _can_ be the hardest thing at times, _this time_ it proved to be one of the easiest, and Oliver was going to cherish that fact and this moment for as long as he possibly could because, let's face it, nothing ever came easily for Oliver anymore, but that was okay with him because he didn't need easy, he just needed Felicity.

 

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! Hope you all liked, not only this chapter, but the story as a whole. This is my first multi-chapter piece, and it came out quite well, if I do say so myself! Thanks for all your support! It is much appreciated! You all are wonderful! As always, feel free to share your thoughts with me because I would love to hear them! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and let me know what you think! Also check out my other works on AO3 and my tumblr page: hoffkk. Please and thank you!:)


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